One of the key distinctions in our group is the difference between being ‘Successful’ and being ‘Fulfilled’ in our lives. The two share interesting connections, though are far from being the same thing. Our focus on the latter, though acknowledging both sets our conversation. It is infinitely possible for a person to be perceived as being a very successful in their career or financially, and yet not feel fulfilled. Likewise, some people experience deep fulfillment and yet are not successful at all in a more generally accepted sense. In order for us to think and discuss this idea in a substantive way, we need to start with a clear distinction between the two. 

For the purposes of our work here, we will consider ‘Success’ to be any accomplishment in a person’s life that is measured by standards set from external sources. Fulfillment, on the other hand, refers to accomplishments that we set and reach within our own minds and by our own standards. Internal versus external standards are the difference. This doesn’t mean that people can’t experience fulfillment by meeting external standards – it’s just the basis for our discussion. 

The concept of ‘Fulfillment’ actually comes from the term ‘to fulfill’. If we fulfill something, we complete it. We fulfill a promise, or a dream, or a goal. It means we set out to do something worthwhile and valuable to us, and we finished. This action has roots inside our minds. We pursue the fulfillment of this goal because it is of value to us. 

The connection to athletic competition is immediate. Competition is about attainment of an end that is of value to us. It’s what we do – we have goals, a plan to reach them, and we carry out those plans to bring us to a successful conclusion. Sometimes. Competition has also taught us that we can’t always fulfill goals or promises, and it has also taught us to regroup and adjust when we can’t. Still, the motivation to fulfill an athletic goal comes from within us. We commit to a goal that is important to us, and we work toward it’s achievement. 

This is where it becomes important to make a distinction between fulfillment and success in the world beyond competition. While each of us have standards to which we hold ourselves, the source of those standards becomes the distinguishing factor between fulfillment and success. If we succeed at things that are more widely defined by society as being of value, we only feel fulfilled if those things are also important to us within our own beliefs and values. Fulfillment comes when we accomplish things that are of value to us personally, regardless of any external value or perception of success from the outside world. 

Can these two things be the same? Absolutely. Take as an example financial success. Many people will argue that money is a measurement of your accomplishments. Financial gains are indicative of a person’s performance in their occupation, though they are not the only one. A person can be regarded by others as being successful because they’ve made a lot of money, but they will only feel fulfilled if financial success is also something that is consistent with their internal beliefs. This is why we often see people who are successful but not fulfilled, or even fulfilled though they do not meet a conventional definition of being successful. In understanding that factor, we begin by differentiating between success as defined by societal terms, and fulfillment by our own personal ones.